


Campfire Tales

by hellowkatey



Series: The Lost Adventures of Anakin and Obi-Wan [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drunken Confessions, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Not Beta Read, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Past Violence, Planet Melida | Daan (Star Wars), Protective Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn referenced, Qui-Gon Jinn's A+ Parenting, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27596483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellowkatey/pseuds/hellowkatey
Summary: Stranded after a particularly rough mission, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, and Rex pass around a bottle of Corellian whisky and learn shocking stories of Kenobi's past.
Series: The Lost Adventures of Anakin and Obi-Wan [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746991
Comments: 8
Kudos: 315





	Campfire Tales

Obi-Wan stands atop the cliffside, peering out over the rough terrain they'd spent all day trekking. Rolling hills-- some steep enough to better be described as mountains-- hide the village they'd left in the dust. Obi-Wan signs. _Village_ is a generous description for the battleground they'd retreated from. Though the distance they covered was lengthy, he still has this horrible pit in his stomach... no number of parsecs between him and this place could ease the anxiety tugging at his gut. 

It's been a long time since he's thought about them. Thought about _her_. Her lifeless eyes flash through his memory and he winces. Usually, he is better at withholding the demons of his past that visit him. Especially when he is stuck on a mission with nowhere to retreat to. Sometimes he considers telling his friends about his past. Obi-Wan already feels guilty enough for denying his own padawan the tales of his youth, but he has resigned himself to the simple fact that Anakin probably doesn't want to hear how disappointing it was. Age has brought the realization that his time as a padawan-- the pain and self-doubt and _trauma_ he experienced is not a universal experience for other Jedi. Why would he draw attention to that fact? Make them pity him? No, he doesn't like to talk about his childhood but it is not for selfish reasons of keeping Qui-Gon all to himself as Anakin must suspect. To say it aloud would make it real, and right now he has the plausible deniability that it all is a fever dream. 

Obi-Wan turns his back to the horizon, looking down the cliff to the makeshift campsite the others had put together in the protected valley. There is already a fire beginning to blaze. 

_At least this Force-forsaken planet is short on apex predators,_ he muses, hopping down to the next level of the hillside. 

* * *

"Is Master Obi-Wan okay?" the careful voice of his padawan breaks Anakin's concentration on the fire. Rex and Ahsoka bet him the good sleeping mat he wouldn't be able to start it the "old fashioned way" with sticks and string, and he has been determined to get a good night's sleep if it kills him. 

"Huh?" Anakin glances up, still rubbing the stick between his palms. To his delight, he can hear the friction building between them. 

"He's been up there a long time, and he was pretty quiet all the way over here." 

Anakin looks up to where Ahsoka is staring and sees the silhouette of his old Master against the setting sun. He can tell from here Obi-Wan has his hood up and arms crossed across his chest. Typical. Anakin shrugs and shoots a half-smile in her direction.

"You know Obi-Wan, he likes to have the high ground."

Ahsoka turns around to make her eye roll readily obvious and crosses her own arms over her chest. Rex looks between the two Jedi, seated on a nearby log. 

If Anakin is being honest, he _has_ noticed his master acting a little strange. From the moment they were briefed on the mission, he could feel anxiety coming off the usually-collected High General. 

It was a relief mission. At least, it began that way. They were already in the sector, and a neutral planet requested medical supplies and rations. Chancellor Palpatine saw it as an opportunity to show good faith and maybe pull another world into the Republic. Personally, Anakin saw it as a waste of time, but he wasn't about to question the Chancellor. In the briefing, it was revealed why this planet had not joined a side yet-- it was literally in the middle of its own war. The civil war had been raging for decades at this point. The capital city had been completely decimated, leaving only a few small ship-ports and isolated villages standing throughout the mountainous world. 

As soon as they learned this, Anakin could feel Obi-Wan withdraw. He tried to reach out through the Force and was met by unrelenting shields. He tried to ask him about it but was met with nondescript excuses of a headache or being a little distracted. That alone was a red flag. Obi-Wan is _never_ distracted, especially with relief missions. And if he is, he sure as hell doesn't admit it. Relief missions are his favorite part of the job. Something about feeling like "the old days".

(Honestly, it's like he's asking for the old jokes.)

They departed _The Negotiator_ and arrived at a small village just outside one of the ports. Almost immediately after unloading all the supplies, their cargo vessel was destroyed by an ambush by the opposing force, and war broke out. 

They couldn't get involved. Not really. Not if they wanted to start an intergalactic incident. They could only play on the defense, and even that was hopeless. It was like this planet was left in the Old Republic. No blasters, no tanks. They fought with hand-to-hand weapons and longbows. At best, they had electro-staffs. Somehow the dated tech made it all the worse. Wounds bled like Anakin had never seen. All they could do was try and corral the civilians into safety.

There were some they couldn't get to in time. 

Their screams rang out in pained echoes until they were replaced with the low draw of waiting for death to finally arrive. Anakin watched Obi-Wan use the Force to pull them into ditches, his hands pressing over their hopeless wounds as if that did anything but soil his robes. The rest of them knew it was hopeless. Anakin thanks the stars Ahsoka and Rex were on the other side of town. They've seen bad, but Ahsoka didn't need to see this. 

He suspects that's part of the reason Obi-Wan is withdrawn. He has _never_ seen his master panic like that. How may kriffing _Sith Lords_ has the man faced and his hands were still enough to perform surgery afterward. But Anakin still can't get the image of his former master trembling as he pulled him away from a woman whose unfocused eyes stared at the sky. His entire body shook like he'd worn a swimsuit to Hoth, face pale and breath hitching in his throat. Anakin didn't know what to do. Obi-Wan kept pulling away from him, obviously wanting to be left alone, and Anakin was in no mood to push himself on someone who obviously didn't want to talk about whatever is bothering him.

What they witnessed was horrific, but they've certainly seen worse.

Still, there's still the nagging feeling in his gut that there is more to the story. Obi-Wan was obviously acting strange from the beginning, not just when they aided in the burial of a few civilians. 

There's a snap, and a gasp and a small flame emerges from his contraption. He blinks in surprise before leaning down and blowing on the flame to fuel the fire. Within a few moments, it has spread to the other logs and a fully blazing fire illuminates the growing nightfall. 

Anakin looks up and grins at Ahsoka and Rex "Guess I get the good cot." 

* * *

Obi-Wan chews on the corner of his ration bar, not so much to appease his nonexistent appetite, but the watchful eyes of the others in his party. 

He lingers on the ring of blood that now stains his tunic. The dark contrast against his tan robes mesmerizes him for a moment. The woman he held in his arms-- the one whose blood now haunts him-- was hardly old enough to even be a woman. Obi-Wan glances up at Ahsoka, who is cleaning her lightsaber, and giggling at something Rex and Anakin are arguing about. She couldn't have been much older than her. 

It makes his chest feel tight every time he's reminded of how young the padawans who roam the battlefields are. It's easy to forget Ahsoka's age when she's running full speed at a gaggle of battle droids, that smirk on her face, and her twin sabers whizzing so fast it seems like she's wielding six. It's when everything comes to a calm and he looks at her face and there's still the remnants of childhood in her rounded cheeks and wide eyes. That the pit in his stomach returns. 

Maybe he's being hypocritical. He wasn't much younger, himself. 

"Hey, uh, Master?" Anakin's voice interrupts his daze. He looks up to see the others staring at him. 

"Yes, Anakin?" 

Anakin stands from across the fire, holding out a bottle. Obi-Wan's brows knit together and he reaches to grab it from him. It's a small bottle, but upon inspecting the worn label he raises an eyebrow at his old padawan.

"Where in blazes did you get Corellian whisky?" 

"Unimportant." 

"Did you really _bring this_?" 

Anakin huffs. "Come on, Obi-Wan, you know how I feel about relief missions. I thought it might... you know." 

Obi-Wan pops the top of the bottle, a whiff of the strong alcohol already reaching his nose. "Make it less, dreadfully boring?" he says dryly. 

Silence falls among the camp. Obi-Wan doesn't look at any of them beside Anakin, who suddenly looks a bit uncomfortable. _As he should, that was a dumb comment to make after the day we've had._

 _'So you admit today was a bad_ _day, huh?'_ Anakin's voice in the Force echoes in the back of Obi-Wan's mind. 

_I don't remember inviting you into my head._

_'Would you rather do this in front of everyone?'_

Obi-Wan chuckles, lifting the bottle to his lips and taking a long draw of the whisky. It burns going down his throat, filling his empty belly with a bitter warmth. 

He looks at the others, obviously perplexed at the extended silence. Obi-Wan's gaze flickers back to Anakin. The knight's intense stare softens as Obi-Wan holds up the bottle.

"Depends on how long you let me hold onto this." 

* * *

Anakin passes the bottle to Ahsoka. She raises an eyebrow, glancing at Obi-Wan. The old man has had nearly half the bottle at this point, his eyes glossy and not paying a lick of attention to the young Togruta. 

"Is this some kind of test?" 

"I'd go with, probably," Rex whispers. 

"Do you want some, Snips?" Anakin asks genuinely. Ahsoka looks over at Obi-Wan again, like she's waiting for permission. _Blast it,_ he didn't think this would be such an ordeal, but he supposes he'd do the same if a council member was sitting right there.

"Master," Anakin says, snapping Obi-Wan out of his stupor. "How old was I when you let me have a sip of alcohol?" 

"Fifteen," the inebriation is obvious in his thicker-than-normal Core accent and rosy cheeks. "And I didn't _let_ you have a sip, you took a shot when I had my back turned, asked permission to try some, and then when I said yes, you took another." 

"See I-- wait, you knew about that?" Rex chuckles, and Ahsoka slyly slips the bottle from Anakin's hands. 

Obi-Wan shrugs. "You weren't exactly slick, padawan. You gagged quite loudly." 

More laughter. Anakin huffs, grabbing the bottle back from his padawan who only managed a short draw before nearly spitting the substance out. 

"How do you _drink_ that?" she sputters, grabbing for her canteen. 

"That's right, Ahsoka, you're far too young for this poison anyway," Obi-Wan says lightly.

"Give it a few years," Rex whispers to her, and Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. Anakin remembers the advice Obi-Wan gave him when he first got Ahsoka. _"Whether they're in the Temple or at war there will always be the older kids to influence them into poor decisions. As a Master, it's your duty to look the other way...within reason, of course. Even Jedi must get their taste of teenage rebellion."_ It was a surprising position for his master to take and Anakin has always wondered just how much of his antics Obi-Wan actually knew about... How many he _still_ knows about and pretends not to...

"Well, how old were you, Master?" Anakin asks, raising an eyebrow.

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow. "When I tried alcohol?" 

A part of Anakin expects to hear a generic answer about waiting until he reached the Galactic standard age. Another part of him was giddy for a more interesting response, though he wasn't expecting one.

"Thirteen, I believe."

A moment of silence falls over the Jedi and Clone Captain as they all suddenly are paying full attention to the nonchalant admission of the rule-following general.

"Thirteen? Was it like, wine at a diplomacy dinner?" Ahsoka asks. 

"No, I believe it was of a corn-distilled variety. Whatever it was, it was dreadful." He chuckles. 

"Sounds like Wrecker's favorite stuff," Ahsoka pokes Rex in the ribs with her elbow. His nose crinkles. 

"For him to drink that paint thinner, something in his cloning must have gone horribly wrong." 

Anakin is still preoccupied with the idea of a thirteen-year-old Obi-Wan downing some Outer Rim motor oil. He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"Did Qui-Gon _let_ you have it?" 

At the mention of Qui-Gon's name, Obi-Wan's face falls slightly. "Well, not exactly." 

Obi-Wan as a fresh-faced padawan sneaking alcohol behind Qui-Gon's back is _not_ _at all_ the picture Anakin has in his mind of his Master as a kid... not that he has much else to go off. Obi-Wan isn't exactly the most open when it comes to his past. Never has been. 

Not truly understanding the sensitive topic of Qui-Gon, Ahsoka asks the question that is likely on all four of their minds. "So what's the story, Master Kenobi?" 

Any other day, Anakin is sure Obi-Wan would have waved them off with some vague excuse, or just plain refused. But Obi-Wan is at least three or four drinks worth of Corellian whisky in. And over the years Anakin has learned a tipsy Obi-Wan Kenobi is one that _likes_ to tell stories. 

Obi-Wan leans back on the log he's sitting on, his gaze far away and his shoulders tight. While usually the tales Obi-Wan divulges while drunk is adventures of his padawan days, packed full of action and his infamous dry humor, Anakin can feel that this is different. Maybe this isn't such a good--

"Qui-Gon and I went to the planet Melida/Daan," Anakin is shocked when Obi-Wan dives right in. "The Melida and the Daan had been at war with one another for so long, the purpose of the original conflict had been forgotten. Qui-Gon and I were to try and find a resolution. Instead, we found the Young." 

"The Young?" Ahsoka asks.

"The children of the Melida and Daan people were tired of war. Tired of watching their friends and neighbors perish and be used for propaganda. They left their families and began to fight against the adults. At thirteen, I was one of the older kids there, actually." Obi-Wan looks down at his lap, and Anakin can see him contemplating taking another drink. 

The general's glassy gaze raises from the alcohol to his old padawan. The fire is reflecting in his eyes, casting harsh shadows across his usually placid face. "Master Jinn had to take an injured Jedi back to the Temple. His dear friend was severely injured, and let's just say his new padawan had not grasped nearly as much priority in his eyes," Anakin blinks at the surprising bitterness in his master's words. What he knew of Master Qui-Gon was that he and Obi-Wan were close. Anakin never imagined... never really thought about a time when they weren't practically finishing one another's sentences. "

He did not intend on returning. I couldn't abandon them," Obi-Wan says, swallowing hard. "I couldn't abandon them," he repeats, taking a deep breath. "I left the Order for around a year. Fought with the Young." 

_I left the Order for about a year._ Left the order?

Anakin can see the horror growing on the faces of the others. He can _feel_ it bubbling in his own chest. 

"Many of them died. Too many. And one day when we finished burying our dead one of the Young brought a bottle of something he'd stolen from the Daan. We passed it around, and the game became seeing who could drink it without having to spit it out," his voice grows quieter. "And those of us who _could_ keep it down used it for the remainder of the war to help us fall asleep at night." 

Anakin opens his mouth to say something, but words don't come out. Ahsoka and Rex are also speechless, just staring at the Jedi Master with awe. 

Suddenly Obi-Wan seems to realize all that he has said and he shifts uncomfortably, standing. "I'm dreadfully sorry... I didn't mean... I think I'll get some air." he says, despite the fact they are already outside. The master quickly trudges off back toward the cliffside, leaving the three others in a state of shock. 

"Master did you..."

"No," Anakin says softly. "I had no idea." 

* * *

The panic rises in Obi-Wan's throat as he tears away from the campsite. He can feel the whiskey burning in his empty stomach, causing a wave of nausea to hit him. _Blast it_ , he curses, falling to his knees as the contents of his stomach empty into the grass. He coughs and sputters. The burn of the Corellian whiskey is worse when it comes back the other way. 

It, unfortunately, reminds him more of Melida/Daan. His near-starved teenage body was slight as it was, so five shots of straight moonshine proved too much. He had spent the next few hours vomiting bile and dry heaving. It was after Cersai died... when Obi-Wan realized he missed being a Jedi. Missed his life, his master. And in that painful moment, he made the decision to return. 

And now, he pulls himself off the ground, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. The sour taste still remains but there is not much to do about that. 

He didn't expect one of his greatest traumas to slip out like that. Sure, it was on his mind already, and the context did fit but... he went too far. Said too much. He saw the look on Ahsoka's face-- the _shock_ and _horror_. Stars, it must have shattered her perception of him! Even Rex couldn't hide his shock.

And then there was Anakin. It was when Obi-Wan really looked at his former padawan when he was released from his drunken trance and realized how far he'd gone. Anakin looked... devasted. Horrified. Worst of all, Obi-Wan could feel the pity as his padawan tried to sent _calm_ through the Force.

He sits down on a fallen tree, putting his head in his hands. He left the order. Joined a war he had no business being a part of. And now he's a Jedi Master? A councilmember? Who in their right mind allowed _that_? 

Footsteps crunching through the grass makes him look up. Standing maybe a meter away is Anakin, his hair falling into his face as he looks down at him. Anakin's face is hardened. Neutral.

And then it relaxes. 

"Master?" he says, stepping forward and crouching down. He carefully places his hands on Obi-Wan's knees, his eyes scanning over him. "Are you... okay?" 

"Yes, Anakin." 

"See that was a test because I _know_ that's a lie."

Obi-Wan sighs. 

"This mission has... hit a bit close to home." 

"Obviously. Why..." Anakin hesitates, chewing on the inside of his lip.

"Why haven't I told you?" 

He nods. 

"Doesn't set a great example, does it? A padawan who defied his master. Left the order, and became a laughing stock among other Jedi?" 

Anakin recoils, looking stunned. "Obi-Wan, _no._ If anything, it makes me realize maybe _I'm_ not as much of a screw up as I thought." 

Obi-Wan manages to smile, rolling his eyes. 

"But really, you stayed on Melida/Daan because you felt like it was the right thing to do. I would have done the same." 

"And I would have supported you," Obi-Wan says, a sureness in his voice. "Welcomed you back when you were ready." 

"I know you would have, Master. You were a good Master. Still are. But I do wish you would talk about stuff like this. Its..."

"Pitiful?" 

"Humanizing." 

"That's a big word for you." 

It's Anakin's turn to roll his eyes. "You're still drunk." 

"Yes, indeed..." 

Silence washes over them. Anakin sighs, setting his head down on Obi-Wan's knees before transitioning to sitting next to him. 

"I do have a question, though."

Obi-Wan swallows hard. He has a feeling this won't be an easy one. "Yes, what?" 

"You said you left the Jedi... when did you return?"

Obi-Wan takes a deep breath, looking in the direction of the village. "My friend Cersai... she was killed. I watched her die..." his voice hitches, and he seems surprised by this. Like he wasn't expecting to be emotional about watching someone die when he was thirteen. "She died and I tried to keep fighting but it wasn't the same. I realized my time was up. I returned to the Jedi... to Qui-Gon, who didn't exactly want me back after what I'd done, but he took me anyway." 

Obi-Wan's words hang heavy 

Anakin tries not to think about what he means by his comment about Qui-Gon not wanting him. That is a conversation for... sometime later. 

He places a hand on his master's shoulder, and they sit there in the dark. He can hear the voices of Ahsoka and Rex in the distance, logs being thrown on the fire. Obi-Wan feels like he should be cold, but the warmth from his former padawan surrounds him, making him feel much safer and much less alone. Long ago he found belonging with the Young. He considered them his family for nearly a year. But now he has a new family. A new place that he fits in. Obi-Wan closes his eyes, releasing the anxiety he's been filling up with into the Force. He can feel Anakin gasp as he feels it fade away into nothingness. The hand on his shoulder tightens, and Obi-Wan sighs, placing his own hand around the back of his former padawan.

And for the first time in a long time, Obi-Wan mourns. 


End file.
